BALIW BALITA!

Mar and Korina’s Wedding, Jerry Maguire ala Enrile, WowoManny, ATBP.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Tipid Wedding (Ep.1)

Sen. Mar Roxas and the love of his life Korina Sanchez promises that it will be a simple wedding. The couple has decided to the donate to victims of Ondoy and Pepeng. The couple has cancelled the reception and has opted to use a padyak as their mode of transportation to the church.

Tipid Wedding (Ep.2)

Kris Aquino, whom Korina Sanchez still has tampo with, promises to still make the Mar and Korina wedding special. Aside from allowing Baby James to be part of the couple’s entourage, Kris has called on Goldilocks to donate a wedding cake, Coca-Cola for the refreshments, San-San for Korina’s Make-up, McDonald’s for the food, Dr. Vivian Sarabia for Mar’s eyewear, Joy Lim of Charms and Crystals for luck, and all those who will attend the wedding will receive goodies from Maggi Magic Sarap, Bench Scents, Casino Rubbing Alcohol, and a copy of the Kris Aquino Magazine and a We Are 1 DVD na nagplatinum na. Libre na rin ang pagkanta ng mga Kapamilya Star Magic Artists. Bonggang-bongga!

 

Tipid Wedding (Ep.3)
Our second-rate, trying-hard PBB reject auditionee and chikadora received an unreliable tsismis as to why Mar and Korina have decided to cancel the reception. According to unreliable sources of our chikadora, this was the only way to ensure Korina that RG Cruz will stay away from the buffet table.

Jerry Maguire: The Enrile Version

Senate President Juan Ponce- Enrile said that they will only grant the P12 billion supplemental budget if the government could prove the fund is available. Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez is reportedly drafting a long memo on how Sen. Enrile can avail of the budget information.

WowoManny?

It is reported that Sen. Manny Villar and Willie Revillame produced an early Christmas concert Dasmarinas National High school in Cavite and format is similar to the noontime TV show “Wowowee.”

Our chicklet (maliit na chikadora) asked Sen. Manny Villar on why he decided to produce a show with Willie:

Manny Villar: “Kung magdesisyon si Willie na tumakbo sa Q.C.and if we don’t win this 2010, at least mayroon nang qualified na pumalit sa kanya sa Wowowee dahil marunong na akong mag-host.Gusto mo ng sample ng giling-giling?”

 

Ang Gulay…Bow! (Ep. 1)

Agriculture Secretary Arthur Yap said that vegetables is unable to reach Metro Manila due to the devastation of Pepeng in Northern Luzon and Central Luzon. Prices have increased five times of its original cost. The Department of Agriculture is trying to source vegetables from Visayas and Mindanao. Meanwhile, in an unreliable news report by our tambay na chikadora sa labas ng Malacañang, the government is also trying to source the best steaks in New York just in case magka-ubusan ng gulay sa Metro Manila.

Ang Gulay…Bow! (Ep. 2)

Baliw Balita has received unconfired and hindi mapagkakatiwaan na press release that the Department of Agriculture has warned the group PETA (People for the Ehical Treatment of Animals) to refrain using vegetables during protests and advertisments until everything is back to normal. 

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